Saturday, March 24, 2018

break-up : letter to a sister!


(DISCLAIMER : The characters portrayed in this are fictitious . No identification with any real persons) 

Toulouse, France
22/03/2018

My Dear Loving Sister,

Hope this finds you well. I write this letter to express my views and opinions. Don't consider these opinions as my requests or suggestions or what so ever. Once again I state, these are just my opinions to give my perception!

Firstly, I respect your decisions in your life as an individual because that's your basic democratic right which law of land has provided to you. So, I respect it. I also agree that, the big decisions we take in our life are not taken in haste but by thorough process of our perception, conviction, thinking and understanding. When we are in good pages of our life everyone supports us, but when we are in difficult stage of life, generally many people will move away, but some will stand with us. I believe from the bottom of my heart that I belongs to the latter 'some' people, not only in your life but every one's life who are close to me.

As I said we take big decisions of our life with lot of conviction and perseverance, these decisions should be made after large degree of consensus with the people whom we believe are, well-wishers  of our life. Ultimately, we follow our heart but when we hear people's perception of things, we will know the new dimensions of it. This is very significant because, I believe that life is a practical experience of our perceived or convicted theory. As we say, theory and practical should go in tandem; not only in science but also in life! Of course, we listen to their ideas and see the new dimension of it and we may agree or disagree on it. In this context, people may play with emotions which are very sensitive, but we should only consider the truth rather than carrying away with emotions! When it comes to more personal issues, I agree that there would be some points which could not be discussed even with close ones, but in this case there should be a mutual consent of both the parties facing the issue, because I only believe that, 'Love' is true and genuine which does not have shades. There is no 'fake' love at all, instead of adding 'fake' to the word love, I don't like to name/consider it love at all and undercut the power of 'love'.

As a brother, I see you as a very emotional person from which I know you. Whenever I had a fight with a person on ideologies or anything, I see the positives and think of nice emotional bondage I had with that person, rather than the name of him/her in bad books of mine. This paves path for me to reconnect with that person, because as I said earlier life is nothing but experiences with people. When we think of the nice and beautiful time we had with the person by recollecting the memories and fantasies we thought of, our brain will be freed from unnecessary stuff and definitely we shall be relived psychologically. I think this is the first and foremost thing one should do in the time of crisis.
When it comes to relationships, the first thing people say to me is, neither you had an experience of being in relation in the past nor now and you talk about it. I agree I neither had it in past nor now, but the fact is, I am in relationship with 'myself' from the time my cognitive mind started thinking. So with that experience I speak today. Being committed in a relation is itself a genuine task with lot of emotions, convictions, perceptions and of course love. When we are in this genuine feeling, we arrive at many ideological, behavioral, attitude differences. But the super power of this genuine feeling (I stress 'genuine') is to overcome these differences. This is the sole reason I believe, why this emotion of love still exists in air. Many people becomes prey of these differences as they don't see the super power of this emotional feeling because of many reasons which include impatience, insecurity and I believe in a strong reason that, they don't believe in the 'emotion of love' and are not eligible for this feeling. This is very unfortunate in some terms.

I hear people complaining that love is full of sacrifices and we have to forgo a lot to accept others and I am the only one doing this, he/she does not even care to do a small thing for me . I laugh internally when I hear this. Because, in spiritual sense, our journey is to a place where the term 'I' (here, not only refers to ego) drops down, as the soul of ours and soul of God unites and there is no existence of other thing to advertise us as 'I'. Similarly, I see love as an emotion where two souls meet into one and there is nothing as of 'I', because, 'I' drops down. When there is no 'I', there is no point of sacrifice for someone. To reiterate, when there is no 'I' and 'You', where is the logic of sacrifice?!

Finally, the term 'break-up', I get laugh when people use this term. When we are in genuine emotional connection with a person,  we are already united as one soul and I never heard of a break-up of one soul into two. Even I think a costlier endothermic fission reaction also cannot make this (on a lighter note!) 😉. According to me, where ever there exists this genuine emotional bondage, there, the word break-up does not exists! If anyone claims that he/she is in this genuine emotional bond, they are not authorized to use this word; as that emotion and this word cannot exist together! So, why this word exists?! I only see this as an excuse to find a better person in terms of career, physical, financial, societal norms. These are just my views on the society, this may not directly imply on you, but I am just putting my perception of life in words for your benefit. See the positive side of life, the emotions you shared, the good time you spent together, the fun you had being one etc. Everyone will have gray shades in his/her life. As I said, the word sacrifice does not exist in same place where this emotional bond exists; take the gray shades of the person as an experience to convey him/her, so that gray shades does not turn black. This is one of the good way to solve the issues if we have any.

I agree that basing on the societal, family extensions we are involved, we cannot show the utmost purity what the emotion of love expects/requires. If the differences are large enough and the two souls (not 'one') want to move away, I think the mutual consent is extremely important. Moving away without mutual consent is very illegitimate in my opinion and one who does this, are not only, being not genuine to themselves but also to the pureness of that emotion. From spiritual sense, I see 'break-up' as a ethical divorce and 'divorce' as a divorce abide by law of land. So, mutual consent is significant as emotions are involved in the context.

Finally, as I said earlier, think about the good times you spent together, fun you had, emotions you carried, the fantasies you thought of as a couple and many more good thoughts. These positive things will drive us with more energy and passion towards the ethically right things in our life. Hope you will also be driven to ethical genuine side of your life very soon! I wish and pray for your unity! 

Best wishes and may God bless you!

Your loving brother


No comments:

Post a Comment